WEEK 37: 我想念你們! + a huge 奇蹟!

hello 大家好!

i am not doing caps this week because i decided to go for a bit of an e.e. cummings vibe ~可以嗎? 

this week i woke up on my birthday and missing the family and laura and everyone just hit me like a big old AIRBUS! (sorry that needed to be caps hahaha) really though i woke up and i was just like "wow I miss my people soooo bad!" it hit me and i cried it out before we got ready and went to the court to play basketball with the elders. i cannot tell you how weird it is to have a birthday on the mission but i will say it was a bit of a turning point for me. that sounds so cheesy hahah but i actually feel like my 20th birthday was a crucial day of reflection and learning. i was pretty deep in thought the whole morning, thinking about how weird birthdays are and where is my family and why do we celebrate birthdays and why am i even thinking about myself this much i need to focus on studying and preparing for our investigators today, and why do i feel like i am watching my life in 3rd person? 

hahah it got weird~~~

basically i had a billion thoughts going through my head about how STRANGE the feeling was and why it was happening. i was used to missing my family but i was not used to feeling so caught up in the feeling that i couldn't really focus. so i said a prayer asking Heavenly Father to help me focus and help me think about things in a more constructive light (rather than destructive, since it was weighing me down). i started a.m. scripture study after that prayer and i opened to Alma 37: 36-37.  it says,

36 Yea, and cry unto God for all thy support; yea, let all thy doings be unto the Lord, and 
whithersoever thou goest let it be in the Lord; yea, let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord; yea, let the affections of thy heart be placed upon the Lord forever.

 37 Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest 
down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day.

i miss my family and friends very much. i miss them every single day and i want that to be fully and 110% clear, that since i began this experience here in Taiwan i have felt the distance every day. but on my birthday morning, it came in especially like a big wave and i couldn't seem to move past the feeling and focus on it...

...until i started reading these 2 verses in Alma. 

i have read these verses over and over again but this time felt different based on the circumstances. i love this about the Book of Mormon and the Bible- that we read them continually and learn more and take away different things each time! this verse felt like Heavenly Father was talking to me, telling me to rely on Him, trust in Him and turn to Him. He promises us that He will take care of us through his Son, so all i needed to do was to turn my thoughts to Him and stop relying on myself. "let our hearts be full of thanks to God" is one of my favorite phrases. we are promised challenges as part of this life. but i love love LOVE that in constantly turning our thoughts and gratitude to God, continually remembering His and our Savior's love for us, we show Him we need him and trust Him and in turn He blesses us. i spent the rest of that day thinking a lot. pondering everything! (literally one of those days where your mind will not stop) i felt gratitude and overwhelming feelings of thankfulness for my Savior and for Heavenly Father. the moment i turned to Him, He helped me turn the feelings of sadness and physical pain of missing my loved ones to a realization of how blessed i am to have the people that i have in my life and that I have them because of Him! if all of our thoughts are truly directed to the Lord, He will help us turn those moments of discomfort into hope and comfort. of course the feelings of missing my peeps are there and they are gonna be there every single day of my mission! but i want you all to know that i know for 100% sure that Heavenly Father can ease the pain and heartache. 

lesson learned:  no matter how big or small your challenge is, there is always the choice of whether or not we want to turn to Him and allow Him in.  i really want everyone to know that wherever you are in life and whatever you are going through, you can find hope and peace through Heavenly Father & Jesus Christ.

(i am pretty sure i wrote this for myself because wow so much reflection hahah thanks for bearing with me!)

last i want to share an INCREDIBLE miracle that happened last night to show you that God is constantly preparing people to hear the gospel.  last night we had a Fireside. it was fantastic and there were Christmas songs errywhere (HOLLA!) after the Fireside, there were treats and basically everyone just chats and you see people you met awhile back from other areas of Taipei. well i was just eating my 橙子 and talking to our amazing investigator named Zheng Hui Jun when this guy comes up to me and says, "it's you! i knew it was you!" and i had absolutely no clue who he was so i pulled one of those awkward laughs like "aha ahh yes...it's...you........¿"

-TOTALLY BLANKED-

but sensing how awkward I was and the fact that I was not saying his name he goes "i am the guy who ran after you a couple weeks back! and i followed you to the chapel to get a copy of the bible! and now because of you i am meeting with the missionaries in BeiTou and getting baptized at the end of the year!" 

大家!!!! He was NOT creepy and turns out Heavenly Father had just realllyyy prepared him to see us that night and feel inspired to RUN (nope, he definitely did not bike. he ran a whole mile) and ask us for a bible. It was probably one of the greatest miracles I have seen on my mission- especially seeing how God's plan played out! Sister Rhynard and I are in shock/kinda feel bad at thinking he was so creepy hahaha OOPS. Really though God has a plan for everyone and I am so excited for him to be baptized! 

I am sooo grateful for daily miracles and for the miracle it is that we get to turn to God daily. we can legitimately choose to see miracles! family and friends it is not possible for me to express my love to you and my gratitude for each of you in my life. i cherish every single relationship i have and i thank Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ for making it all possible. life is so beautiful! i hope everyone is making plans to express love to Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ and to everyone in your life this holiday season because wow WE BE BLESSED!

thanks for reading my document!!! i love you all with all my fiber

(trust me i eat a lot of fiber) 

xoxox

sista 莫

p.s. SORRY I FORGOT MY CAMERA! i have no pics this week